Day Nine: 3 Views

The Man

 

He has been holding this in for years.

 

He looks at the love of his life.

 

She is perfect to him. Everything about her is amazing. The way she always grabs for an extra straw in case they need it in the future. Or the way she has to brush her teeth in the shower because it is more ‘efficient’. She was perfect and she didn’t deserve this.

 

He plans on telling her here. This park is one of her favorite places. He didn’t want to ruin this place for her but then again he didn’t want to tell her at their house.

 

They reach the clearing and he knows this is the perfect moment. He stops and brings her arms to his chest. She looks up at him with a smile. He takes a moment to take a deep breath. But notices something red out of the side of his face. He looks and it is an old lady knitting a sweater. She looks tired and worn out. But is happily knitting the sweater. It is a small sweater. Probably for a grandchild.

 

This breaks him. He forgot about this. He was never going to have a son. This disease would take everything from him. His name would never live on. He looks at his love’s eyes and starts to cry. He could not believe this was happening to him. What had he done?

 

His love holds him and asks if everything is okay. He can’t say a word. This would hurt her too. Years they had been together. She had just start coming around to the idea of children. Oh god. Either she would mourn his death forever and never take another partner in life or she would move on without a care in the world.

 

His life was over.

 

The Woman

 

She was happy. Happier then she had been in years. She had finally found the perfect guy. She had a fantastic job. And her family was alive and well.

 

And she had big news.

 

Earlier this week she had been feeling funny. So she had taken a trip to the doctors. Turns out she was a month along. She was a bit scared. She didn’t tell her partner right away. She panicked. She had just gotten a promotion and now would have to go on maternity leave. Or she could have had an abortion. She knew her husband would want it so she didn’t tell him right away. But she couldn’t stop smiling once she had found out. She knew this was meant to be.

 

Now she was waiting for the perfect time to tell him. And luckily today was the day.

 

She loved this park and she knew as soon as he said they should go for a walk that she would tell him here.

 

They were pasting a clearing and she noticed an older lady up ahead. She was knitting. She hopped one day she would be here knitting something for her grandchildren.

 

He grabbed her hands and brought them to his chest. She smiled up to his face. But what she saw wasn’t what she expected. He looked so sad. He turned and looked at the old lady for a second and just broke down in tears. She was so confused. She held him and asked if everything was okay. He never answered her. She held on to him for dear life. What was wrong?

 

The Old Lady

 

What a beautiful day she thought. A perfect day to go to a park and knit some of those beautiful grandchildren a sweater.

 

She carefully walked down the stairs. She looked around the house. This wasn’t her house. Oh right this was her daughter’s house. She had been staying there for the last week or so. No year. The last year. Since Ronald passed. Ronald was her husband of 57 years. She missed him. He died about a month ago. He died in 2011.

 

She found her daughter quietly sitting in the kitchen drinking tea.

 

She asked her daughter where the little ones were. Her daughter wouldn’t even look at her. She does this sometimes. She never remembered why. Oh wait it was because the children had died. Oh it was a trouble accident. No one knew what happened to them.

 

She went ago with her morning grabbing a bagel from the bag. She sat in her chair in the living room and waited. She decide that she wanted to read a book. However when she pasted the door she decided she rather walk. She grabbed her knitting bag and her walker and headed to the door.

 

Her daughter asked where she was going. She told her the park.

 

She had been sitting there for a while. She was knitting a sweater. Her daughter would love this sweater. She would knit one for Billy. He is always running around the house. One day he’s going to run right out into traffic if they don’t watch him good .

 

Little did she knew that is exactly what happened to him, while grandma was watching him.

Day Eight: Death of Adverbs

Walls contain us. We can only listen for our cages. The girl next to me is clicking on her keyboard. You sign up for this at an office job. Constant clicking. The girl has blonde hair. The color everyone wishes they could have. The browns lowlights compliment the blonde to a T. She has a light about her that only some can have. She attracts men’s attention. But she doesn’t mean to. She has a serious boyfriend and her kids adore him. She clicks away to finish her work to leave this place.

 

The manager at the end of the rows has a larger desk than the rest. She is of importance. She is checking her cell phone while working. As a working mother of 4 you would expect nothing less. Because of this she won’t get everything done today that she wanted to get done. But it is a Friday and as such, she should be expected to leave early. She has to take care of 4 children what else would you want her to do?

 

The man next to her should be admired more than most. He is living proof good people exist. His kid may have autism but he would never treat him different. The sprinkle in his eye that appears when he talks of his little man. He has on top of his head a bright blue pair of headphones. The kind that he says shows off his gangster style.

 

Across from low in his desk is a man on his phone. In a week he has plans to marry and the wife-to-be is calling him to remind him of the things he has to pick up. No one needs to know if is on the phone. Silent yelling. Ignoring the incoming calls. He doesn’t want to do all this work. This is a 2^nd  marriage from him. He counts the days until it is over.

Day Seven: Give or Take

“I don’t recall.”

 

That’s a lie!

 

Is not!

 

“Are you sure?”.

 

Tell the truth.

The truth is I can’t live without him.

But your living in a world of pain. Is the money worth it.

 

I don’t do it for the money. I do it because I can’t provide for the girls without him.

 

Yes you can.

 

He will try to take them away from me. No, he will take them away from me.

 

Judges always side with the mother al lthe time.

 

Not when she has no job and a slight drinking problem.

 

“Miss, I asked if you were sure with your answer.”

 

He will just hit you again. This is your chance out. He is a monster.

He has never hurt any of the girls.

But he has hurt you.

I don’t matter.

                We don’t matter.

“Yes. I do not recall.”

Day Six: He’s A Character

I haven’t written all week because this topic scared me. No one in the last year really interested me. I could talk about people at my job but they just aren’t that worthy of writing a blog about. I mean there are a few but no one that had really touched me. So I widened my search to include people in the last year and a half.

 

When I first met him I didn’t think too much of him. He was weird and quirky but that didn’t mean too much to me. I had no idea he would mean anything to me. In a year he has become my best friend, lover, and partner in the world. Not that he’s completely perfect though.

 

By looking at him you would never guess the pain and hurt he has been through. I have so much respect for that. Sometimes when we are fighting and yelling he doesn’t look upset at all. But sometimes once the fight is over and I can feel the relief that I didn’t leave like other in his past.

 

He isn’t much to look at. Not that that is an insult at all. He wouldn’t stand out in a crowd but if you look closely you see he has his own style. The hat that you couldn’t find in that style if you wanted to. The graphic Tee that has one of his interest on it. And long shorts. He does his own thing and I can appreciate that.

 

At a party you can find him making drinks or playing a video game. He likes to do things rather than let things happen. He has the tendency to talk down to people. He has some problems with relating to people or considering their point of view. I’m sure this is due to history too.

 

He wants to do everything. He likes being the leader in a project. He like to know information and doesn’t mind sharing it with people. He always walks a few paces ahead. And like to control the kitchen when cooking. These little things show that he has the ability to be a great leader if was ever given the opportunity.

 

He does little things that cause my heart so much joy. The random hand holding in the car. The cuddling that happens after the alarm goes off in the morning. The little things that let me know you care.

 

I have no idea if this is doing him justice whatsoever. But this is the man I love.

Day Five: Be Brief

The bright lights and cars blocking the entrance were a dead giveaway that something went wrong.

The happiness has left the building hours ago. I walk up the stairs of the apartment building. I see the men standing outside room 205. Not a smile among them. I past the room and see the stretcher with the body on it, I know someone has left us.

The next landing, my stop, has a paper on the ground. In a moment I have the paper in my hand and read the one sentence on the page that makes my body numb.

This is your fault

The Loss of My Humanity Part 1 of 3

The world was in ruins. Whatever it was took most of the human kind with it. Only pieces of building are left. Everything is broken or on fire. The air is so thick. It smells of smoke and burnt objects. It scares me to think this used to be a thriving city yesterday. It’s so very quiet. I wish someone would talk or come out of hiding. Everyone is afraid. What if it comes back?

I’m hiding under a desk in an empty office building. The glass has been blown out. I don’t remember coming in this building or why I was even in the city. I hate the city. But I’m just waiting hoping I’m not the last human being on earth. I hear foots steps walking through the building. They are loud they must be men. “Check for survivor’s!” one of the voices says. I hear them walk around to every desk. There must be about 4 guys searching. They are coming for mine soon. I panic are these bad guys? Does it matter it? They will eventually find me. “Got one.” one of them says. I hear a girl scream. She is terrified too. “What is your name?” The man asks her. “Mar… Mary” She stutters out. “Put her with the others.” The leader says. She starts trying to fight back. I give her props. At least she won’t go down without a fight. But she isn’t a match for whoever grabbed her. I can hear her screams lessen and lessen. At least I won’t die right away. I hear the footsteps next to my desk. I see the shadow of my capture. He’s huge. He is slim but as tall as a tree. He is carrying a huge gun. Dressed in black and has black paint on his face. He looks like he is in the military. My moment of panic lessens. If they are military maybe they are here to save me. Of course the panic is back when he grabs me and drags me out from under the desk. “Got another” he shouts to another man. This is the first time I get to see all of them. The one is he talking to has more muscle then the guy holding me. He has a buzz cut and looks like he could kill me with his hands. I look around the room. There are 4 other men walking around the room. All carrying huge guns and decked out in military gear. “Put her with the rest” The leader says. The guy holding me grabs me under the under and drags me to the hallway. In the hall way I see more guys in uniform. I’m too afraid to speak or fight.

We walk through a maze. I can’t focus on anything. Finally we get to a doorway that a man with a gun is guarding. The guard looks at me in disgust and snares “Why is it always the girls that survive? They are useless in combat.” The man holding me guides me into the room and lets go of me and walks out. In the room is 4 other females. They are all spaced out in the room. No one wants to make eye contact. Two of the girls are crying. I walk into the only corner not occupied and sit down. I make sure to sit so may back is to the wall. I don’t need any surprises right now.

In the silence I try to think of what is happening. This could be the way we get saved. And what did that guard mine by “no good in combat”? Does that mean that there is a war going on? Did another country do this to us? My mind is rushing with thoughts. I am trying not to panic. Panicking does nothing. I need to focus on what is currently happening. I take a look at all the girls in the room. The room is a conference room. People yesterday were probably in here talking about profits and losses and were in here now hoping we aren’t being herded to our death. There is a large table in the middle of the room. A plant is resting on the side wall in-between me and the guard at the door. The blonde is in the corner across from me. I can’t see all of her just the top of her head. By now the two girls crying have started hugging each other. But have dark hair and don’t look like they will be helpful in anyway. The other dark haired girl is in the corner on my left. She has her eyes close and her head is resting on her arms. Is she sleeping how is that possible? She is in a dress and flats. She would be a runner if we need to get away from these people

Suddenly there is shouts from another room. The guard shouts on his walkie talkie. The girl in the corner’s head snaps up when the guns shots start. The crying girls start crying louder. The guard at the door looks at them and tells them to shut the fuck up. The walkie talkie says that team blue was ambushed on the south wall. The meaning is lost on us but the guard looks worried. I stand to make sure if I have to get out of here I’m ready.

Silence. Then I hear an explosion. The wall on across from me explodes. The blonde has been knocked out. The dark haired runner has blood dropping form her head but she is standing. I shout run and take off out the door way. I turn left and run as fast as possible. Papers are just blowing through the office. It seems quiet this way. I try to decide if I should leave the building or if I should just find another room to hid in. “In here” a voice behind me says. It’s the dark haired runner. She is pointing to a building adjacent to the building we are in. She jumps out the window and sprints across the street. I debate following her but numbers never hurt. I jump out the window a lot less graceful than her. The glass cuts my hand on the way through. I try to see where she went but she just open the door and walked in. I take a look down the street, the sky is foggy because of the smoke. I can just about make out cars that were pushed to the sides of street. It looks like something large just pushed them to the side. What could have caused this?

Once inside I look around. There isn’t a ceiling and the building looks half destroyed. I immediately regret leaving the office building. This building was destroyed. Anything from above can see us and grab us. And the building has ceiling that you have to climb over. This was a bad decision. I am attempt to return to the other building when I hear someone call out, “Get your ass over here, girl”. I turn and look and it is an older black lady. She is holding a door open to was looks like the basement. I don’t have any other choice but to go to her.

 

Day Three Challenge: Songs

Hello World,

Music to me has always been very personal. Not everyone likes my the music I like. Friends or family might not like it but I do. I have always been very protective of my music. I try to play the music people around me like. I mean I still like it but I know they will too but it might not be my favorite music or the music I want to listen to. This is why this challenge scared be originally. I actually looked up a few other blogs before I wrote this to see what other people chose. I thought those were boring but I’m a jerk sometimes.

The first song that comes to my mind is Tainted Love by Marilyn Manson. I know it is a re-make. I know it’s from a soundtrack to a less then good movie but it is me it is a defensive mechanism. Whenever I feel like I am about to lose it and cry a ton I sing this song in my head. It doens’t help but I’ve been doing it since middle school.  

The next song that is important to me is a song by Uncle Kracker called Follow Me. This one is super personal. It was one of my mom’s favorite songs. We would listen to it all the time in the summer with the window down. I remember in the summer my dad would let my mom take the blazer rather than the mini van and we were so cool in that blazer. We would just blast this song on repeat. It is a nice song. It makes me tear up when I hear it. I think she liked it becasue it was a nice idea that someone that loved you would be want to take you away from where you are. That they didn’t care that the current issues or your life they loved you for you and would take care of you. She really needed that. It was one of the songs I made them play at her funeral. They tried to talk me out of it but it was too special to past up. Sure it only really meant something to me but that was okay.

The last song is You Fuckin’ Did it by Jason Mraz. I love everything Jason Mraz. But this song is just perfect. It’s a simple song but it’s so powerful. It’s just a song about you being awesome. And I’m not gonna lie I need that everyday right now. Just a little push to know no what other people say at least Jason Mraz thinks you’re awesome.

Whatsername

*totally went over my 15 mintues. It was either that or not do all 3 songs. *

 

Day Two: Blogging 101… on Day Three

Hello World,

Sorry I didn’t follow the rules and post this yesterday. Got caught up is detective work. But here goes nothing…

Growing up in the country has grown in me a need for freash air. Not just fresh air the scent but the idea of free flowing air. The wind blowing with nothing blocking it or shifting it anywhere. They way the shaggy trees woosh when the wind comes flowing in. You can close your eyes and you can literally feel the freedom of the country. You can hear the birds chirping and the sun shiny and you just know that today isn’t so bad. If I could go anywhere it would be on a road trip through the country.

A few houses here and there with children playing in the yard. They don’t really need too much supervision because there aren’t too many threats out there. My car being one of the rare ones that they literally stop and watch because they don’t come by too often. Most of what you see are fields and a barn ever so often. But mostly just the green of the fields. The plants not old or strong enough so they bend with the wind. All the while the sun is just shining it’s heart out. Not a single cloud in the sky. You can feel the freedom. The release of whatever stress you are caring by just driving through the country.

Every so often you see a barn struggling to stay up. You feel like you know the history of the barn. Generation after generation have worked in that barn. It has seen so many days and still does. It isnt used for much these days but it is still there. The vines and moss cover the aged and broken down barn. You wonder if the owner of the barn has a new one somewhere or if they just don’t need it anywhere. It’s like an abandoned building but for country folk.

Further down the road you see a small farm. They have chickens running out on the lawn. You make a joke in your head about a chicken crossing the road and laugh to yourself.  And why not have the chicken rounging about? There isn’t too many people driving by and not too many danagers. They will probably have to lock them up at night, this place is probably coyotes home too. Night time is a different but amazign beast all together in the country. The crickets make the best music. And driving is borderline deadly because the animals are always running across the street.

You know the trip is about to end when you find a stop light and you hit traffic. The perfect road trip has ended. Welcome back to the real world.

Whatsername

 

Writing 101 Day One

Hello World,

As much as i would love to straight type for 20 mintues having to do this at work might be hard. Thank god for screen protectors. No one can see what is on my screen unless they are directly behind me. Hence I can do this at work rather than working.

Work has been a huge issue for me recently. I work at a relatively large bank. I used to work for one fo the biggest banks but they closed our site and I had to find a new job. I did find one but as I have come to realize after about a year of working here that it is one of the worst places to work ever.

Now don’t get me wrong I enjoy working. It’s the people and the atmophere here. It’s numbing to the sense. I hate it here. If thought about leaving but I need the money. But it has been ruining everything for me. I have no want to do anything corporate related ever again. I used to be happy to come to work now I hate it.

I can’t even begin to explain the horribliness of my job. And it is just wrong. Where I could work could be amazing but no one cares about improving anything. I have a manager that is clearly not qualified for her job. She used to be a family court lawyer now she is the fcl/reo manager of a bank. How was she even qualified to be hired here? The answer is she is friends with her current manager. I mean I ge networking is great but seriously… who hires someone that is not qualified what so ever.

I tried to change things. I knew how this department should be run. I used to work for a company that knew how to make this area of business run prefectly but it was too large for that business. So it kind of fell apart. But here it would be easy to pmake run perfectly. Create huge profits but when I told them my ideas they jsut disappeared. I started making waves and now.. I have been written up 3 times. I can’t post out. I can’t use anyone here as a reference minus the people not in charge that understand what is happening. It is crazy.

I literally had an interview at a different bank and I explianed how things were don’t here and they laughed. They had no idea how anything got done or how we were doing any good business. And it’s true. You can’t and it’s not. We are flashing money down the toliet because no one cares. And why should they. They are making bank while doing as littel as possible.

My work drive is usually high. I’m usually the person in the office that knows everything. I usually love challenges and take on projects all the time but here. I am just waiting hoping for a new chance.

I realize know that this blog is super depressing and now am thinking of not publishing it. But whatever why not. Honestly I doubt anyone will read this or care to read this. I still have to find out where this Community page is. I read a lot of people don’t have access and I am not sure if I do.

Now I feel like I complain too much about work. I wish I had something to add to this. Originally I didn’t get the email about this blog thing and I thought I wasn’t going to get one so I started typing a blog about Hockey. I watched the Game 7 Western Conference Finals last night and what trying to explain how mazing Game 7s are in playoffs to hime but he was playing on his phone. Not paying attention to the game.

I think that has been 20 mintues. Honestly I didn’t time this.. Can I do multiple blogs on this challenge…? I mean I’m sure I can but I feel like I should do a less depressive one.

Challenge: Blogging 101

Hello World,

So I have decided to try out a challenge via wordpress to teach myself to blog everyday. I am extremely new to blogging. I really never saw the point of blogging or having too much of an online presents. I mean sure some people are useful to read about or to listen too but most aren’t. And I doubt I’m one of the few people to actually be interesting enough to have “followers”. That is the main reason why I’ve never blogged. I mean it’s like a journal for the whole world to see. I’m a kinda private person so that erks me a bit.

The reason I finally tried to “blog” was because I want to start a business. And major part of that is having a following or supporters. I have friends and family that like me but not enough to support a whole business. So I am here to start developing my supporters and voicing my opinion and stuffs.

The business I plan on starting is through Vemma. No! It is on a Pyramid Scheme. Seriosuly it’s not. I’ve done my research. I also am well aware Italy has banned it because they consider it a Pyramid Scheme. But also in Rome they have banned gold fish bowels because they believe having a goldfish is cruel. Different cultures believe different things. United States has banned Pyramid Schemes and have decided that Vemma is not a Pyramid Scheme. And I’m going to take their word for it. It has the same business plan as Avon but has a ton of negative rumors about it. I’ve been trying to go on Twitter and tell people that it isn’t a Pyramid Scheme but it’s like talking to a wall. They just word vomit random facts that aren’t even close to facts. I don’t know if that is the best way to try to have a social media presents on Twitter but I’m not sure where to start.

Okay I think that’s good for today. I really am looking forward to trying out that Blog Challenge.

Whatsername